Who’s your daddy?!



He likes to sing, dance, and play music. He’s Filipino, he was raised in the Philippines by his grandmother, and he is going to help me build my family. 

Whenever I think that I’m okay, sometimes I look back on my surgery and realize that I’m the one at fault for not being able to fill my wife’s belly with a beautiful child. But then I come back to my senses, I become hopeful again, all because there are people out there who knew these kinds of situations existed. I’m grateful for the second chance and I’m grateful to the person who made that visit one day to the donor bank and is currently helping me make a family. (Whether or not he meant to) But how does a dude like me accept that another dude is getting my wife pregnant? It’s easy. Because he’s not. He’s not getting my wife pregnant, he’s giving me a little human to love and teach music to. Biology can’t replace love, and it most certainly can’t replace the commitment to being a parent. 

Theresa and I went to counseling to get approved for using donor sperm. Not gonna lie, I thought it was a little screwed up. I mean, there are tons of teenagers having sex and getting pregnant before they’re ready only to give up their baby or not have their baby at all. And here’s us, begging to be parents, going through treatments and surgeries and giving away lots of dough to our doctors and hospitals just to grow our tiny family. But hey it’s cool! Anyway, it turns out our counseling session was really great. One of the things we talked about was how to tell our little one that daddy isn’t technically their daddy (although he totally is.) Mrs. Cruz and I discussed it a little but we never had a real strategy. The only thing that we decided on was that we would be straight up and honest from the beginning. One way to do it is by telling them a story. A story about Mom and Dad falling in love and wanting another person to share it with. But Dad didn’t have the cells for Mommy to have a baby, so they needed help. Simple as that. 

So when am I going to be able to tell that little person that story? Hopefully in a few months, maybe 9. Theresa should be having her IUI in a few weeks. Now, I understand that the first few tries could not work. But if this first try, if this very first try is magical enough to work then everything we’ve been going through will come full circle. The struggle will continue but at least it’s another chapter closed. With the way things have been going so far in my life it seems like good news like this will be the mangos on top of the strawberry banana milkshake that I’ve been sipping. Doing great at my job, getting a promotion, finding awesome musicians to form a band with, and hopefully a pregnant wife. 


Mr. Cruz


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