Hurdle

Today’s word is HURDLE. Allen and I have dealt with many hurdles while on this journey. It’s par for the course. As soon as one situation is resolved, another appears.

This week has been the most difficult since beginning our infertility treatments. My body is tired. Emotionally. Physically. I’m absolutely exhausted. Four surgeries in a year? Good God. What kind of life am I living?

One part of me is too tired to go on. The other part of me says, “BRING IT ON, SUCKA!!” Luckily we have a strong enough support system that the latter is winning. We stay super positive. We try. This, however, does not mean that ANY of this is easy.

I received a phone call today from our IVF nurse. My blood tests came back and there is a problem with my thyroid. A new prescription needs to be started immediately… The hope is that the problem will be resolved in time for us to continue with our IVF protocol.

Hurdles.

It has come to our attention recently that there are more infertile couples following along with our journey. They like how we stay positive. We like it too… But the last thing I want to do is paint this perfect picture of an infertility journey with no real emotional struggles. This is hard. And we are bitter. We have some major anger. We cry. We throw pity parties. We shut down. We are allowed. And for those reading that are on their own journey… You’re allowed too. Positivity helps so much. But it’s okay to know that sometimes you can just be angry.

This week is our week to be angry and today’s word is hurdle.

Mahal, Mrs. Cruz

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